The Day the Oscars Died…Again.

With the Oscars arriving this weekend, I thought I’d repost this one as it’s a bit more relevant now than when I originally posted it. If anyone has their own Oscar letdowns they just can’t let go of, please feel free to share. On the other hand, it may just be me…

Villager at Large

This is a bit of fun I had, the result of a song stuck in my head and a bee stuck in my bonnet for oh, going on 18 years…

I should mention that I don’t think that Forrest Gump is the worst film in the world, just one of the most overrated. No offence is intended to those of you who love the movie, of whom there are many. I do love The Shawshank Redemption, which may become obvious the more you read..

As I said, just a bit of fun.

The Day the Oscars Died

(To the tune of “American Pie” by Don McLean)

A long long time ago

I can still remember how Shawshank made me smile

And I knew with a bit of luck

The Oscars that year wouldn’t suck

And Shawshank would win best picture by a mile

But that March evening made me shiver…

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The Day the Oscars Died

This is a bit of fun I had, the result of a song stuck in my head and a bee stuck in my bonnet for oh, going on 18 years…

I should mention that I don’t think that Forrest Gump is the worst film in the world, just one of the most overrated. No offence is intended to those of you who love the movie, of whom there are many. I do love The Shawshank Redemption, which may become obvious the more you read..

As I said, just a bit of fun.

The Day the Oscars Died

(To the tune of “American Pie” by Don McLean)

A long long time ago

I can still remember how Shawshank made me smile

And I knew with a bit of luck

The Oscars that year wouldn’t suck

And Shawshank would win best picture by a mile

But that March evening made me shiver with every award that they’d deliver

Bad news on the small screen

I couldn’t believe what I’d seen

I find it hard now to describe how those two words raised my bile

But something made me sick inside

The day the Oscars died.

Chorus:

Bye Bye to this Hollywood farce

They drove their limos to the theatre but the die had been cast.

The old-school voters nailed their colours to the mast

A sinking ship going down fast

A sinking ship going down fast.

 

Do you think Shawshank should have won

And do you have faith in justice done

When the Academy tells you so?

Now do you believe in Hollywood

And if so do you think you really should?

Well then, can you teach me how to talk real slow…

Well I know that I do love that flick

And some may think I’ve judged too quick

But there just ain’t no comparing

The faults in Gump are glaring

I was a naive film fan with a trusting heart

Who thought commerce wouldn’t triumph over art

I should have realised from the start

The day the Oscars died.

(Repeat Chorus)

Now these days Tom is overblown

And we all know Morgan’s dulcet tones

But that’s not how it used to be

When Easy taught us how to read

On the Electric Company

In a voice that spoke to you and me

Oh and while the king was looking cool

A bosom buddy played the fool

The battle had begun

No doubt who had won

And while one made Bonfire of the Vanities

The other was driving Miss Daisy

The point was made for all to see

The day the Oscars died. 

(Repeat chorus)

So we came to ‘94

The Tom and Bob show opened the Oscar door

The hype machine was moving fast

Another movie had been signed and sealed

For Rita Hayworth and a dollar deal

So the Oscars were a contest at last

Now the Oscar show was long and slow

And Dave was great but what do critics know?

But the writing was on the wall

And the evening began to crawl

Because Shawshank should have swept the field

But before the Gump all the voters kneeled

For me, some wounds could not be healed

The day the Oscars died.

(Repeat chorus)

So Forrest Gump won the Oscar race

There’s really no accounting for taste

But I wish we could just start again

So come on Stephen, come on Frank

Make something worthy of Shawshank

Because Oscar doesn’t wait for any man

And as I dreamed of what would be

I saw Tom Hanks and a mile of green

Even a five year wait

Wouldn’t make that movie great

And as the victors partied through the night

In the cold hard truth of the morning light

I knew that all my fears had been proved right

The day the Oscars died.

(Repeat chorus)

I met someone who hadn’t seen the show

And they asked me well, how did it go?

But I just smiled and turned away

I went down to the video store

To check the awards wall and just make sure

But the man there said the winners hadn’t changed

And in the streets no one seemed to care

The awards were over for another year

But I was broken hearted

My Shawshank had been shafted

And the film makers that I adored

Messrs Hitchcock, Welles, Lean and Ford

They would have seen it all before

The day the Oscars died.

(Repeat chorus twice)